its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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