spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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