I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I understand Curling. That high.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
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