He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
