Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
