I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
be right there i have to get my cape
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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