The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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