smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize