I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
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I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
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In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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