didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The air was thick with penises
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
