Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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