If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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