We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
