i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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