I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
