break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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