Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Are we still banned from the library?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
