Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize