fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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