im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize