I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
