Fine. I'll sleep in my office
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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