just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize