And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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