remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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