i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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