also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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