Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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