I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He felt like a one man threesome
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
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No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
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Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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