Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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