U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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