...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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