As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
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