I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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