These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
