I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
