i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You did what with his pubic hair?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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