i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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