He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
thus making me awesome and them whores
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
