i think i have two assholes
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
