i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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