I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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