hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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