I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she told me i tasted like america
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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