would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize