Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
