I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
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We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
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He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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