I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
