I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
