im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
