I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
