I want to walk on stilts...naked
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
