Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
