You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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