dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
