Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
