I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
