redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
