i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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