He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
