I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
