He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
