she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
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I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
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We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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